Thursday, March 1, 2012

Dueling Reviews Best of 2011: Director vs. Weatherman. Part of an occasional series.

Disclaimer: these are only based on the films we've seen that were released this past year, with an exception in best action and best comedy.

BEST FILM
Director: Midnight in Paris - Charming, funny, and Woody Allen in his comfort zone. Owen Wilson is at his best as the charming loser, Rachel McAdams is at her best as the bitchy girlfriend, and Marion Cottilard is at her best as the sultry sexy frenchwoman. Highly Recommended.
Weatherman: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Whatever, this was a great movie. The weird looking intro had me hooked from the start. The Help is a close second in this category. [Editor's note: also see the original Swedish Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Trilogy]

WORST FILM
Director: Immortals - Bad story, even worse acting, and a plot that makes no sense. If I wanted to see models running around in weird quasi-greek fashion I would go to Cirque du Soleil. This is the ultimate low point of the Greek movie trend (Troy, Alexander, 300, etc).
Weatherman: I didn’t really have a worst film. 2011-12 was an optimistic viewing year in the McLaughlin household, but I will say I thought J. Edgar could have been better.

BEST ACTOR
Director: Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - Although I was disappointed with the film itself, Oldman portrays more character without ever saying a word than most actors can while speaking.
Weatherman: Justin Bieber, Never Say Never - Happy 18th birthday Justin. [Editor's note: Really Weatherman? Really?]

WORST ACTOR
Director: Shia LaBeouf, Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon - He's not necessarily a bad actor, it's just that the roles he picks show the worst he has to offer, instead of the best. Come on Shia, you can do better than this.
Weatherman: Danny McBride - He will perpetually be my worst actor. I will not watch Eastbound and Down, no matter how many times people suggest I watch it, only because of him and I wish he would have died the first time in Pineapple Express.

BEST ACTRESS
Director: Saoirse Ronan, Hanna - She makes you really believe that she's a little girl yet also a stone-cold killer.
Weatherman: Mila Kunis, Friends with Benefits - Sooo hot. [Editor's note: I agree]

WORST ACTRESS
Director: Michelle Rodriguez, Battle: Los Angeles - She's been typecast to death as the badass latina soldier, and at this point I don't think she can handle anything else.
Weatherman: None.

MOST OVERRATED
Director: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Pt 2 - Never before has the epic showdown between a Lord of Evil and the Hero been so bland and meant so little.
Weatherman (actor): Johnny Depp - I saw the Rum Diary and liked it, but is Johnny Depp really God’s gift to moviemaking, which I think is his reputation. I think not.
Weatherman (film): Moneyball - I read the book when it first came out. The movie was OK, but really didn’t live up to all the hype the mainstream media and sports media gave it. Plus, the A’s now suck and Billy Beane is not a genius.

MOST UNDERRATED
Director: Midnight in Paris - I've only met one person who's seen this film, yet I think it was the best I saw all year.
Weatherman: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never - Make fun of me. I don’t care. This was a really good movie in documentary style. Watch it. [Editor's note: Horsecut in no way endorses this statement]

BEST COMEDY
Director: The Muppets - I actually haven't seen it yet but my cousin, a huge Muppets fan, says it was great. I'm assuming I'll agree.
Weatherman: The Hangover: Part II - The plot was the same exact thing as the first Hangover, but I still thought it was funny. Best part might have been the One Night in Bangkok performance at the end.

BEST ACTION
Director: Drive - Although the action comes in small doses, after I walked out of the theater I wanted to speed across town all day in my car, pretending it had a manual transmission. That says something. Not since Steve McQueen has driving looked this cool.
Weatherman: I really don’t think I saw any new action movies this year, but I finally got around to watching all the Bourne movies, so those get the nod here.


BEST TV
Director: Sherlock - This BBC miniseries is the best Sherlock Holmes adaptation to date. It's smart, clever, funny, and engaging in all the right ways. It takes place in modern day which gives it an unusual twist, but without ever losing sight of what a Sherlock Holmes mystery is all about. And, as a sign of how good these actors are, Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock) is appearing as a villain in the next Star Trek film and as the voice of Smog in The Hobbit, and Martin Freeman (Watson) is playing Bilbo Baggins himself. Highly recommended over Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes films.
Weatherman: The League, (FX); all HBO Sports productions; Pardon the Interruption (ESPN); Storm Chasers (Discovery) all are worthy here … but the award goes to How the States Got Their Shapes on History Channel. Start learning or get busy dying, Horsecutters.

WORST TV
Director: Terra Nova - This is a guilty pleasure of mine because of how great a show this could be. It has time travel, dinosaurs, rebels funded by evil corporate interests, and Stephen Lang (Colonel Quaritch, Avatar) as the bad-ass yet benevolent leader of the colony. What is doesn't have is good scripting, danger, or a sense of how a new colony in a hostile land would actually work in the real world.
Weatherman: Any of the Real Housewives or Kardashian shows.

AWARD GRAB BAG
DIRECTOR:

Best fight scene from an otherwise bad film - Green Hornet vs Kato, The Green Hornet - I was disappointed by this overall bland film, especially since it was directed by Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). But this fight scene, between the Green Hornet and his sidekick, conveys a sense of fun that the rest of this film should have had. See it here.
Best concept, worst execution - Battle: Los Angeles - I was really pumped for this film when I heard it called "Black Hawk Down but with aliens!". And it did have some good moments, but it was mostly forgettable. There were never any "wow" moments, and for a movie with aliens that's unforgivable.
Hottest jaun - Freida Pinto - She seems to be the exotic jaun of film lately, showing up a few years ago as the love interest in Slumdog Millionaire, and this year as James Franco's girlfriend in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and the Oracle and Perseus's girlfriend in Immortals, in which she is shown partially naked. Hopefully we'll see more of her in more ways than one if you get my hint...
WEATHERMAN:
Something I didn't know Award: J. Edgar Hoover was gay.

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