Director: 2016 is done and gone so we’re changing it up! Weatherman’s got the small screen, I got the big screen. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still have an epic duel to the death over who’s the hauttest tryna jaun this year.
Weatherman: 2016. Wow, what a year. Dave got married. Per got Facebook official. I turned 30 and got engaged. Skip continues to create offspring. God bless us all. It was such an amazing and busy year that I also, in fact, watched zero new movies. Unless of course you count the real-life comedy/drama/horror of Donald Trump winning the presidential election.
But I’m not going to do that.
So, sadly, there are no movies, actors, or actresses in consideration for my awards list this year. However, I did watch a bunch of TV/streaming programs. As I’ve said in years past, there’s better stuff on TV and online anyway. (I also cut the cable cord this year and am now streaming TV with a combo Roku/Playstation Vue. Who would have thought Playstation would make a comeback?)
Keeping with the times – this may be a watershed moment for the Per/Weatherman dueling reviews – here goes my awards, dedicated to the small screen space…
Best in Show
Pardon the Interruption
This show has been on ESPN for 16 years, unbelievable, and I still love to watch old Tony and Mike – two former sports writing bloody journos – talk sports every day. It’s probably the only show on ESPN worth watching anymore.
[Director here, I’d like to give a big shout out to the spy thriller Night Manager on Netflix, and possible mancrush Tom Hiddleston]
Worst in Show
Real Housewives
There is a lot of bad TV, but the Real Housewives franchise – L.A., New York, Atlanta, wherever – takes the cake for me. Now, I don’t actually watch these shows, but they are often on in the background when my other half watches TV. So I’ll just go and read a book or something, or reallocate my 401(k).
[damn Weatherman, you are getting old]
Best Actor
Lamorne Morris
Honestly, I didn’t know his name until I Googled it a few seconds ago, but this is the guy who plays Winston Bishop in New Girl. I’m not sure at all what type of actor is he is otherwise, but he’s got his current character down really well, and it makes me laugh.
[I agree, Winston is the best]
Worst Actor
Any of the male characters on E! or Bravo.
Best Actress
Zooey Deschanel
This is a lukewarm pick for me and kind of by default. She’s aiight as Jess in New Girl, but I don’t really have any other options from the shows I’ve watched regularly this year.
[I’d like to nominate Claire Foy as Queen Elizabeth in The Crown]
Worst Actress
Ramona from Real Housewives on New York
The embodiment of all I despise. Is that too harsh?
[no]
Best Comedy
New Girl
Love this show. Funny and very Millennial-like.
[I would submit Broad City as runner-up Best Comedy]
Show I’m Happy Is Still On
60 Minutes
I still love a good journalism story and these guys still do a good job, though I think the quality and depth of stories fell of a bit this year.
Show(s) I Wish Followed Through on Their Potential
I always get hooked by the titles of some of the shows on History channel or NatGeo and the like. They’ve got so much potential to be interesting, but they often lack credibility and are way overdramatized. Like shows about Jesus that show the dramatizations about him in the Red Sea, etc.. Stuff like that. Oh well. There’s bigger fish to fry.
[The docu-drama genre can’t die soon enough]
Most Underrated
This Old House
I know what you’re thinking, both from this pick and many others on this list: What are you 50 years old?! Well, sort of. While I don’t own a house yet, I love watching this long-running fix-it-up program on PBS. It really is a pioneering show when you consider all of the HGTV and DIY shows that have started since This Old House debuted in 1979. Classic Boston accents from the show’s crew too.
Most Disappointing
CNN
Really hit a new low this year in many ways, but it’s been a long time coming too. Somewhat related, I now go to CBS for most of my news, when I feel like watching it.
Most Mediocre
Broadchurch
This is Netflix show I’m currently watching that I hadn’t heard of until about two weeks ago. A murder mystery rocks a small town in England, a flawed detective is involved and you’ll never guess who did it! Season 1 is good, but the start of Season 2 is a bit over-the-top and not making much logical sense, but you could watch Season 1 and be just fine. It’s Most Mediocre because of Season 2.
[I have a similar beef with Daredevil. Got half-way through Season 2 and now it’s sitting on my “continue watching” list]
Most Tryna Jaun
Connie Britton
Coach Taylor’s wife/Julie Taylor’s mom from Friday Night Lights is an MFTJ that is like a fine wine. See below.
[Runnerup: the great Italian beauty Monica Bellucci in the fun Amazon series Mozart in the Jungle.]
Best Show Seen This Year Not From 2016
Friday Night Lights.
I re-watched all five seasons of this show this year and I’m happy I did. I still can’t decide if I like Seasons 1-3 (The Dillon Panthers days), or the last two seasons (East Dillon) better. That’s a good thing.
Shows I Need to Catch Up On
Homeland, Real Sports, Feherty, Charlie Rose
There’s a few shows that I didn’t watch as much this year, thus no nominations in these awards. But I’m sure Homeland would grab a few had I watched the new season. I still love the interview shows too.
That’s all from me. Here’s to a great 2017.
Director’s Best Films of 2016:
Best Film
The Nice Guys
A fun and funny 70s film noir in which two unlikely heroes must team up to solve a murder. Russel Crowe plays the muscle, Ryan Gosling is the sarcastic private eye who can’t ever do things right.
[You spelled Russell incorrect, Per.]
Worst Film
Hail Caesar
I have a love/hate relationship with the Coen Brothers, and this film represents the hate side of that equation. It’s indulgent, it’s boring, and even though I was trapped on a plane to Europe I still turned it off (so that I could watch X-Men: Apocalypse [mostly bad] and Deadpool [good]).
[This is about what I expected from watching the commercials about it.]
Best Action
Logan
I know it came out last month and technically doesn’t count, but the sheer joy of watching a 10-year old girl murdering so many bad guys, right next to Wolverine, just put a smile on my face. It’s too bad that it took three Wolverine movies to get it right. One of the best superhero films to date.
Best Comedy
Deadpool
In a seemingly neverending lineup of superhero movies, finally one that’s refreshing, that’s fun, that’s violent, and that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
[Sounds worth a try.]
Best Actor
Amy Adams – Arrival
Although she’s been great in more comedic roles, this is the first time I’ve seen her sink her teeth into a drama. Her nuanced emotions really sell this alien first-contact story.
[This last sentence is one I never thought I’d read.]
Worst Actor
Jesse Eisenberg – Lex Luther – Batman v Superman
I actually like Jesse Eisenberg but I hated his take on Lex Luthor. He took all the annoying qualities of a rich Silicon Valley billionaire, but didn’t add any menace.
[Jesse Eisenberg … are you talking about the Facebook movie?]
[Nope]
Most Mediocre
Ghostbusters
Forget all the hype and hoopla. This version of the Ghostbusters just wasn’t funny. These ladies are funny in other things, so I’m not sure what went so horribly wrong.
Most Overrated
Captain America: Civil War
Yes it was fun and engaging, but haven’t we had enough of these formulaic Marvel movies?
[Yes.]
Most Underrated
Hell or High Water
This film had almost no press or publicity… But it turns out it’s a great little modern-day western in which brothers Ben Foster and Chris Pine rob small town texas banks to pay back evil bank loans, while old cop Jeff Bridges tries to track them down.
[Clint would destroy them all!]
Most Uplifting Double Feature
Hidden Figures + Loving
Want to see two very different and very good films about sticking it to the man that also happen to be about civil rights? Loving is an unusual almost-indie film about the pioneering biracial couple in Georgia, just trying to live their lives. Hidden Figures makes you want to kick butt and launch rockets.
Films to look forward to:
Colossal: Anne Hathaway discovers that she can control a giant monster when she’s drunk???
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2: I can’t stress enough that we need more of these fun superhero movies.
Alien Convenant: Can Ridley Scott finally break his streak of shitty movies?
War for the Planet of the Apes: Woody Harrelson vs Apes!?
Atomic Blonde: The co-director of John Wick directs Charlize Theron as a kick-ass spy?
Blade Runner 2049: Denis Villeneuve, director of Arrivaland Sicario, is the only man I trust with Blade Runner—and no, I don’t trust Ridley Scott himself after he botched Prometheus.
Murder on the Orient Express: Can this modern star-studded film by Kenneth Branaugh--based on the classic Agatha Christy whodunit--rival Sidney Lumet’s star-studded 1974 film?
Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Apparently we’ll be getting a new Star Wars every year from now until the end of eternity.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Dueling Reviews Best of 2015: Director vs. Weatherman. Part of an occasional series.
AUTHORS' NOTES:
Weatherman: I am thrilled and humbled to be back for another year. Per turned 30 this year and this is my present to him. I will turn 30 this upcoming year. For my present, I hope someone other than the two of us posts on Horsecut before the Internet ends blogging all together. Maybe we should start a Snapchat account instead.
My field of eligible films is slim once again. I saw only six films in the theatre or on OnDemand/TV debuts this season. That is reflected in the repetitive nature of some of my choices, mainly the bad end of things.
Director: I made good progress this year watching films leading up to the Academy Awards, but there are a few still on my list: Macbeth, Mr. Holmes, Dope, Spectre, Rock the Casbah, Creed, Far From the Madding Crowd. There are also a few films that I really enjoyed but weren’t “Best of” material: The Martian, Hateful Eight, Slow West, and of course Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
BEST FILM
Weatherman: Spotlight - I’m not sure if this is a first, but it feels like it. My pick for best film was also the real winner at the Academy Awards. A win for the journalists! But, really, it showed the power of real journalism done well and the difference it can make. Told a true story and did it with great storytelling. (Editor’s note: Bloody journos!)
Director: Mad Max: Fury Road - Crazy post-apocalyptic war cars. Real people doing real stunts. Guns. Explosions. Badass old ladies in the outback. So chrome. Did you know the Director and Director of Photography are both 70+ years old?
WORST FILM
Weatherman:Trainwreck As I settled in for a holiday vacation viewing, I had decent expectations. Amy Schumer was supposed to be funny, right? This movie fell flat on its face to me, other than appearances by LeBron and Madison Square Garden late in the film. It felt like Schumer was in a movie that was made only to show her as some sort of better-looking and more sexual version of herself than she really is. That annoyed me.
Director: Avengers: Age of Ultron - I’m getting tired of the Avengers. After 2 hours the explosions and fighting and robots just becomes mind-numbing. It is the opposite of Mad Max.
BEST ACTOR
Weatherman: Tough one, but in the spirit of #OscarsSoWhite I’m going to go Jason Mitchell as Eazy-E in Straight Outta Compton . There was some great acting in this movie overall, but he’s a guy that stands out when I remember back to watching it in the theatre.
Director: Michael Fassbender as Silas Selleck in Slow West. He gives a hard-hearted gunslinger a bit of humanity. You might also recognize Fassbender as Magneto in the new X-Men series, Steve Jobs in Jobs, David the android in Prometheus, and as Macbeth in this year's Macbeth. Fassbender somehow inhabits each of these very different characters yet is able to give each a sort of intensity all their own.
WORST ACTOR
Weatherman: John Cena in Trainwreck - He was a like a roided up, sexually confused lover of Amy Schumer. It was weird and he was horrible. Not sure it was his fault, though. The concept of his character seemed off.
Director: Once again I’ll have to go with Chris Hemsworth as "Thor" in The Avengers – He’s got the looks, he’s got the brawn, he’s not really a bad actor, but neither does he bring anything exciting to the role of Thor.
BEST ACTRESS
Weatherman: Of the six films I actually saw in the theatre this year, many were male dominated. The award for best actress goes to Rachel McAdams as Sacha Pfeiffer in Spotlight by default.
Director: Emily Blunt in Sicaro. She’s one of the few sexy actresses who I can believe is also a badass. I sort of have a thing for her
WORST ACTRESS
Weatherman: Amy Schumer. See above.
Director: Ditto.
BEST COMEDY
Weatherman: I didn't really see any comedies this year in a theatre. Guess I need to find my funny this year. Pitch Perfect 2 was going to be my winner, but Per tells me that was my winner last year. My memory fades...
Director: Spy - Melissa McCarthy is a CIA analyst who no-one takes seriously until she gets out in the field and has to prove to everyone that she's a damn good spy. Jason Statham basically plays himself, another spy who thinks he's a total badass but in reality just keep fucking things up. Best part of the film. Hilarity ensues. Runner-up Awards go to The Man From U.N.C.L.E, a fun wacky take on 60s spy shenanigans when an American and a Soviet must join forces, and The Big Short for making a film about the financial crisis actually entertaining.
BEST ACTION
Weatherman: Does Straight Outta Compton count?
Director: Mad Max: Fury Road - Crazy guys with exploding spears, war rigs, spike covered cars, a flame-throwing guitar, old ladies with guns, ‘nough said.
MOST OVERRATED
Weatherman: Trainwreck - Sensing a theme here? The movie made $110,038,130 at the box office. I’m in the wrong business.
Director: Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation - This film got a lot of love from all the critics. I finally watched it and it really didn’t do anything for me. I can’t even tell you what the plot was. However I still will give props for Tom Cruise’s consistently absurd stunt work.
MOST UNDERRATED
Weatherman: Straight Outta Compton - How it was not actually nominated for best film in real life is beyond me. Honorable mention to Nowitzki: The Perfect Shot, a documentary on Dirk Nowitzki. It’s in German and has subtitles, but is really great and takes you back to Germany and tells the story of Dirk, how he grew up and his relationship with his coach and family. I know Lou had to have seen it. If not, you can watch the whole thing here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huSaQVlLjW8.
Director: Ex Machina - This modest 3 actor film is about a low-level programmer brought to his google-like boss’s remote mountain home to test an android to see if it’s truly alive. But not all is as it seems.
MOST DISAPPOINTING
Weatherman: Same as most overrated.
Director: Jurassic World - The premise of this, the 3rd sequel, had so much promise. But ultimately it was kind of hokey and dumb and really had nothing to do with the original other than dinosaurs. Hero raptor saves the day? Come on.
MOST MEDIOCRE
Weatherman: I’m really glad we have this category this year, because I saw probably the most mediocre movie you can ever see. None will beat it. It is McFarland, USA. Kevin Costner stars as a man who loses his job as a coach for bad behavior and the only new job he can find is near the U.S.-Mexico border in Texas. His family moves there, has a rough go at first, but then finds a couple friends and he rounds a track team into shape and the make STATE!. His daughter even has a quinceañera. Wholesome movie that I really wouldn’t recommend anyone wasting two hours on if you have something more important to do.
Director: Bridge of Spies - How can a film written by the Coen brothers and directed by Steven Spielberg be so uninteresting, so dull? The plot is basically: Americans: “We want our two guys back and we will give you your spy back.” Soviets: “We’ll think about it.” Several days later: “OK.” Roll credits.
MOST TRYNA JAUN
Weatherman: Anne Hathaway in The Intern. She’s probably the best looking actress I saw in any movies this year, and if I’m telling the truth, I literally only saw her, and didn’t hear here, while sitting two seats over from a guy on a plane to Los Angeles, who had his earphones in.
Director: Emily Blunt in Sicario. I don’t know that I would necessarily recommend Sicario, but I highly recommend Emily Blunt.
BEST FILM SEEN THIS YEAR NOT FROM 2015
Weatherman: Per is making this hard. I usually go over a list of movies that were released over the course of the year, from some movie website I’ve never heard of, and that’s how I remember what I saw. What did I see this year that wasn’t from 2015? I just watched Billy Madison again, over the course of three days after I recorded it on the DVR. Does that count? It’s still great. Per, does that count?!?!?! Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase also. I gave it another try — during Christmas vacation! — and it was very funny. .
Director: The Hobbit: Killstein Edit - An anonymous editor dubbed Killstein has taken the 9+ hours of the Hobbit Trilogy and whittled it down to 3. There are still some unavoidably stupid things that had to be left in place for it to work, but otherwise it makes the Hobbit actually watchable. That’s all I ever wanted.
BEST TV
Weatherman: Like in past years, my favorites really come from the TV category. Among them: Homeland, New Girl, Downton Abbey (shedding a tear for the final season, pour one out), Real Sports, PTI, Feherty, 60 Minutes, The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst, the one episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! I saw in person this year. (Shaq was a guest.)
Director: Workaholics made a good comeback this season after a mediocre 2014. Orphan Black is a fun BBC America show about a girl who discovers she is one of many clones, each who’s grown up separately. So one actress plays 4 very different characters who are trying to uncover the truth. New Girl is still my guilty pleasure. Somehow it reminds me of Penn Tower.
WORST TV
Weatherman: E! and Bravo, forever and ever. And cable news. What a shitshow.
Director: I still have a love/hate relationship with The Walking Dead. It has moments of great drama and zombie killing action, capped with moments of stupidity. This past year it especially seemed like everyone was just acting dumb. I mean, why haven’t they armored up their cars? Why don’t they dig a trench around their settlement? So many question. So far, Season 5 ½ seems like it’s off to a better start thank God.
FILMS OF 2016 TO WATCH FOR:
•Hail Caesar from the Coen Brothers.
•Whiskey Tango Foxtrot follows Tina Fey as she journos her way through Afghanistan.
•Batman v Superman may or may not be any good. I recommend the graphic novel it’s sort of kind of based on, The Dark Knight Returns.
•Hardcore Henry is basically a 1st person shooter put into movie form.
•Warcraft is…warcraft
•Ghostbusters might be good. Hard to tell from the trailer.
•Star Trek Beyond had a shitty trailer, but I’m still hopeful since Star Trek Into Darkness sucked.
•Suicide Squad will either be great fun or completely insufferable
•Star Wars: Rogue One might be my most anticipated film of 2016. The Dirty Dozen in the Star Wars universe? Count me in.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Dueling Reviews Best of 2014: Director vs. Weatherman. Part of an occasional series.
AUTHORS' NOTES:
Weatherman: I should probably start off by saying my pool of movies this year is limited to just five, two of which really came out last year but that I only saw this year. They are: Gone Girl, Chef, Frozen, Gravity and Pitch Perfect 2. The range for this installment is Feb. 17, 2014-June 2, 2015. I’m not the movie buff that Per is but I still enjoy putting these awards together, so henceforth the show must go on despite my lack of movie-watching and, I suppose, social life in general. That said, I probably watch more time watching good, quality TV shows so those will be included here.
Director: So far, the best film of 2015 is Mad Max: Fury Road. Trailer here. Most of what you see is not CGI, it is the real deal. Those cars? Those explosions? The flame-thrower guitar guy on the truck? Fuck CGI. Those are real. See this film as soon as possible. See it on a big screen with surround sound and get your ass kicked.
BEST FILM
Weatherman: Gone Girl - The best movie I saw in a theater this year. Saw it during Christmas break at home and it was a heart-thumper, mystery type flick. The murder of Doogie Howser was a bit much for this boy’s liking, but overall the movie had me twisting and turning emotionally and thinking about it afterward.
Director: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - It has a few rough spots, but overall this film was fun and entrancing. I could watch the ape society just do their thing for an entire film. Watching the apes start to create a civilization, and knowing that they will never really progress very far (based on the glimpse of the future provided by Charleton Heston), makes me excited to see what the filmmakers come up with in the next installment. [Editor’s note: runner up – Whiplash]
WORST FILM
Weatherman: Again, a small pool for me to pick from, but of the four, Chef was the worst, although it wasn’t that bad. For those that haven’t seen it, it stars Jon Favreau as a restaurant chef that quits his job and starts crisscrossing the country with his son in a food truck. He cooks. The kid handles the social media and hilarity ensues.
Director: Interstellar - Loved the spaceships and the effects and the space porn, but the plot just made no sense when I started to really break it down. And it was all over the place tonally and plot-wise. We’re having fun in space? Now let’s go back to a corn farm. Let’s meet an astronaut sent on a mission of exploration and survival alone. Now watch him screw up the docking procedure. Our heroes fail? Hand them a Tesseract.
BEST ACTOR
Weatherman: Olaf in Frozen - He’s not a real person, but whoever put together the little snowman character from Frozen was spot-on. Josh Gad does the voice-work. [Editor’s note: I hate Olaf with a passion. I don't think that was supposed to happen]
Director: J.K. Simmons as "Mr. Fletcher" in Whiplash - You will hate him. That is supposed to happen.
WORST ACTOR
Weatherman: John Leguizamo as "Martin" in Chef - He wasn’t even that bad, but his whole Hispanic shtick sometimes gets to me. Which could be racist. Looked it up and he’s Colombian-American. Director: Chris Hemsworth as "Thor" in The Avengers I & II – He’s got the looks, he’s got the brawn, he’s not really a bad actor, but neither does he bring anything exciting to the role of Thor.
BEST ACTRESS
Weatherman: Rosamun Pike as "Amy Dunne" in Gone Girl - Wouldn’t want to marry her character, but the actress didn’t a fantastic job.
Director: Emma Stone in Amazing Spiderman II & Birdman – I don’t know, I have a thing for her.
WORST ACTRESS
Weatherman: I was once told if you don’t have something good to say about somebody, don’t say it at all. That may be true, but truer here is that I really thought Anna Kendrick could have been better in Pitch Perfect 2. Sandra Bullock is usually a shoe-in but I liked her in Gravity.
Director: Scarlett Johansson as "Black Widow" in The Avengers II – I have a love/hate relationship with ScarJo. I just don’t believe she’s an ass-kicking soviet super-spy.
MOST OVERRATED
Weatherman: Gravity - — I know, I know, you were expecting me to say Frozen, right? Nope. I think Frozen was rated just properly, perhaps even underrated (spoiler alert) but all the crazies that love it so much. Gravity not so much. It was very good, but didn’t quite live up to the hype I saw people spewing on Facebook when it debuted.
Director: The Expendables 3 - Number 1 was just fun, number 2 was just silly, but number 3 somehow ended up just boring me. So much pointless action.
MOST UNDERRATED
Weatherman: Frozen - I knew everyone said it was good, but when I finally watched it, I was amazed by how the whole thing came together for an animated movie. It’s the first one I’ve seen in a while. They’ve come a long way since Toy Story. The characters in Frozen felt like real people that you could connect with it and it was a good story. Touching, I know.
Director: The Lego Movie - This film was straight up insane, like what might happen if you snuck some drugs into your nephew’s juice. And it was kind of subversive actually. It seemed to critique Lego’s obsession with licensing Hollywood movies instead of coming up with their own creations like in the good ol’ days.
BEST COMEDY
Weatherman: For the second installment in a row, I almost didn’t have a pick for this category. I must have to laugh more. I’ll go with Pitch Perfect 2, since I recently saw it to help fill out my pool of candidate movies.
Director: Grand Budapest Hotel – Sometimes Wes Anderson can be too precious for his own good, but this film might be his best yet. Fun characters, silly shenanigans, and surprisingly poignant moments. And don’t forget about the all-star cast.
BEST ACTION
Weatherman: Gone Girl - Also a mystery/thriller. See above.
Director: John Wick - Don’t call it a comeback, but Keanu’s found his perfect character. A classic revenge action film in which a reformed hitman comes out of retirement to headshot those who’ve wronged him.
BEST TV
Weatherman: his is my wheelhouse. First up, the three-episode stretch in the middle of this season of Homeland. Whew, had me on the edge of the bed! Next up, Downton Abbey. It’s labeled as a primetime soap opera on PBS on Sunday nights, but don’t let that dissuade you. Set back in the day in England at an abbey house, the show follows the ups and downs of family life during the time. A good show to watch with your lady friends. Thirdly, I’ve got the interview-show style with Feherty on Golf Channel. David Feherty is an entertaining personality who interviews some great subjects. Some are professional golfers. Others are celebrities with some interest in golf. It’s good stuff. As an aside, check out YouTube.com/LacrosseMag for TV-like things that I’ve helped produce this year.
Director: Not exactly “TV” anymore since Amazon and Netflix and others have jumped in the episodic series bandwagon. Amazon series Mozart in the Jungle is a fun show based on a memoir about the shenanigans that happen behind the scenes at the NY Symphony Orchestra. Yahoo online recently brought back the funniest show on
WORST TV
Weatherman: Everything on E! and Bravo. [Editor’s query: You watch E! and Bravo?]
Director: I only seek out TV shows I know I'll like, so I haven’t seen anything I don’t like, but I will say that The Walking Dead is beginning to get a bit tiresome.
WEATHERMAN'S GRAB BAG AWARDS
Show that I wish continued but ended
The Newsroom on HBO — Guess there wasn’t enough interest in this behind-the-scenes journalism show. Either that or Aaron Sorkin didn’t feel like writing it anymore.
Show that just keeps on humming
PTI on ESPN — Tony and Mike are at like 13 years now, and not missing a beat.
More Sports
Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel remains great. The last episode featured a blind kayaker.
DIRECTOR'S GRAB BAG AWARDS
Most Disappointing
Amazing Spiderman 2 - I think Andrew Garfield is the perfect Spiderman, Emma Stone is the perfect Gwen Stacy, and whomever they were going to pick would have been the perfect Mary Jane. BUT the films themselves had some issues. The first one was a fun setup for Spiderman’s next adventures, but unfortunately number 2 botched it with too many villains and not enough personal stakes. The studio themselves hated it so much that they’re rebooting Spiderman (again).
Most Nonsensical
Inherent Vice - I expected that a Thomas Pynchion novel translated to film by Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights, There will be Blood) would be dense. But My God I still have no idea what was going on in this drug addled California detective tale. But despite this, I’m still convinced Joaquin Phoenix might be the greatest actor of our generation.
Underwhelming Sequel to a Great Film
The Raid 2 - The sequel to my Best Action Film of 2012/2013 had a few great fight scenes like the original, but where the original was lean and mean, basically some police officers trying to escape a drug ring controlled slum building, the sequel is bloated with characters and plot and none of the charm. I just want to see me some martial arts action! Is that too much to ask?
Monday, February 17, 2014
Dueling Reviews Best of 2012/2013: Director vs. Weatherman. Part of an occasional series.
We went on hiatus last year so we’re making up for it with a special 2-year “best of” smackdown:
BEST FILM
Director: The Wolf of Wall Street - Martin Scorsese is the only director I trust to show me a three-hour twisted tale of debauchery.
Weatherman: Zero Dark Thirty - I really liked it, and we caught bin Laden in the end. Who doesn’t love a happy ending?
WORST FILM
Director: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - I wasn’t expecting much after Part 1, but Part 2 was even more painful to watch. The Hobbit is what happens when you take the couple of stupid things Peter Jackson did in Lord Of Rings and turn those into a 6hr+ trilogy. And even more frustrating are those moments of good moviemaking here and there that peek through all the bullshit.
Weatherman: There was a Titantic 3D?!?!?!?!?!
BEST ACTOR
Director: Daniel Day Lewis in Lincoln - DDL for win #4.
Weatherman: Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln - Say what you want about the movie -- the fact is I fell asleep about 90 minutes in but that might be because I’m getting old -- Daniel Day-Lewis plays a mean Abraham Lincoln. Also sort of a lifetime achievement award for me, cause I think he’s a boss.
WORST ACTOR
Director: Charlie Hunnam, Pacific Rim - He didn’t have much to work with, but he didn’t exactly give it his all either.
Weatherman: Danny McBride - I didn’t see anything he was in the last two years. Thank God.
BEST ACTRESS
Director: Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games / Silver Linings Playbook / X-Men: First Class - After watching 2010’s best film Winter’s Bone I knew she was destined for greatness (and yes I also have a thing for her).
Weatherman: Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games - Sooooo hot, want to touch the hiney. Shoots a mean bow-and-arrow.
WORST ACTRESS
Director: Michelle Rodriguez as Luz in Machete Kills - I know she’s been typecast as the badass Latina chick, but she’s not even very good at it. Sort of a lifetime achievement award for being terrible.
Weatherman: Queen Latifa as Georgia Byrd in Last Holiday - Might as well re-name this the Queen Latifa award. This isn’t a 2012 or 2013 movie, but I saw it this year while sitting in a jury duty waiting room in Baltimore City. It’s as interesting as it sounds. Jury duty, that is. As for the movie, it had a good plot (SPOILER ALERT): woman discovers she is sick and decides to spend her life-savings on the vacation she always wanted and chases her dream to become a famous chef. But Queen Latifa just never comes across believable to me in anything that she does. As long as she pumps out movies, she’ll be in the running in this category.
MOST OVERRATED
Director: The Avengers - Yes, it was a fun movie. No, it was not the best superhero movie ever.
Weatherman: The Hunger Games - Now that Ray Lewis is retired, guess we need to come up with a new name for this award. Listen, The Hunger Games was good movie, but all the hype around it really rubs me the wrong way. Maybe my dismay is rooted in jealousy for the author of the book, who’s made millions off of it. One day…
MOST UNDERRATED
Director: Dredd - An awesome film that nobody saw. It’s bloody violent, funny, just plain fun, and it’s got Karl Urban (Dr. McCoy in Star Trek, Eomer in Lord of the Rings) as the badass Judge Dredd. His mouth is the only thing you ever see in the film — that’s acting. Do you like one-liners? Do you like explosive violence? Do you like dispensing justice. . .with a gun? Then see this film immediately.
Weatherman: Trouble with the Curve - Clint Eastwood as an old, cranky baseball scout. What isn’t there to love?
BEST COMEDY
Director: The Pirates! - From the studio that brought us Wallace and Gromit. A goofy, fun, claymation adventure in the pirate world. A welcome respite from “adult” comedies.
Weatherman: Honestly, I don’t think I saw a comedy in theaters. What I Debbie Downer I am. No, but really I avoided The Hangover and Anchorman sequels. I recently watched "We're the Millers," on TV so I guess that will have to count here, although I fell asleep during it. Honorable mention to “The Best of Jimmy Fallon” on NBC that I watched the other weekend. I haven’t watched much of that show but he seemed pretty funny a bunch of times.
BEST ACTION
Director: The Raid: Redemption / The Expendables 2 - For great Kung-Fu action check out The Raid, about a police squad that gets trapped in a drug-lord’s apartment building. To see Arnold killing people while riding shotgun in a Smart car and Chuck Norris being Chuck Norris, see The Expendables 2.
Weatherman: Crooked Arrows - What’s this you say? It’s a lacrosse movie. It wasn’t really widely released nationally, but on a smaller amount of screens. But if you’ve never seen lacrosse, check it out. It’s about a group of Native American kids who play against a mostly white prep school team. Kind of like Mighty Ducks, but with lacrosse sticks.
BEST TV
Director: I’ve been watching Dexter each night and it’s dark and funny and fun all at the same time. Unfortunately, Psych is on its last season, fortunately all its seasons are on Netflix. It’s goofy and zany and I love good detective stories.
Weatherman: Now we get the heart of these awards. I’m much more of a TV guy now. I believe this is a golden age for the medium.
1) I got hooked on season three of Homeland and watched it in about two weeks. Any show that has you shaking or palms sweating is a good one. Can’t wait for season four.
2) The Newsroom: I’m a journo. Need I say more. Jeff Daniels as the lead? Count me in. From a journalism perspective, the storylines are pretty accurate. Some of the dialogue between the characters is not, but what do you expect from show creator Aaron Sorkin, he of The West Wing where the characters basically ran around a fictional White House dispensing encyclopediatic knowledge without Google.
3) Charlie Rose on PBS. Best interviewer in the game, hands down.
WORST TV
Director: All of the “reality” shows on once proud channels like Discovery and History.
Weatherman: The Kardashians on E! and any Real Housewives show on Bravo. My girlfriend loves them, and I want to cry.
AWARDS GRAB BAG
Director’s Biggest Surprise: Jack Reacher - I didn’t expect much going into this but it turned out to be a solid detective/action film. Reacher is an ex-MP who seeks justice and plays by his own rules. It’s got one of the best car chases I’ve seen in a while through a city (full disclosure: Pittsburgh) and it’s got Wernor Herzog (!) as the villain.
Weatherman’s Hottest Jaun: Julie Bowen in “Modern Family.” - I just have a thing for her. Did you know she was the girl in Happy Gilmore? I didn't realize it!
Director’s Biggest Disappointment: Iron Sky - This low budget German film about a lost Nazi Colony on the moon coming back to Earth for revenge looked like a fun nonsensical so-bad-it’s-good film in the vein of Machete or Black Dynamite. Unfortunately it was just plain bad.
Weatherman’s New Sports Channel to Check Out: Fox Sports 1, the new cable channel - They’re billing themselves as just pure entertainment, which sounds good by me for a sports channel. I don’t love everything on it, but some stuff is pretty good. For instance, Randy Moss had a weekly segment called “Straight Cash Homey” on Fox Football Daily.
Director’s Best Film to See in the Theater but Worst at Home: Pacific Rim - Loved it in the theater when the giant robots are towering over you and fighting monsters. At home, on the TV, without that sense of awe, a lot of the film’s flaws were revealed like the bad plot, script, etc.
Weatherman’s Show I Stopped Watching: “The League” on FX, or is it FXX? Maybe that was the problem.
Director’s Best Use of 3D: Gravity - This is a great survival flick and one of the best of the year - just a woman trying to stay alive... in space! One of the only films that I can say is a must-see in 3D.
Director’s Best Film You Probably Haven’t Seen: Killer Joe - William Friedkin, director of The Exorcist and The French Connection is making a comeback. A trailer park kid and his dad decide to hire a contract killer to off their mom/ex-wife and collect her life insurance. Since they can’t pay upfront, "Killer Joe" demands his ways with the kid’s innocent sister. This film is dark and violent and thrilling in all the right ways. And Matthew McConaughey is terrifying as Killer Joe. Glad to see him hide his abs and stretch his legs these last couple years in some interesting roles.
Director’s Recommended Documentaries: - Strangely enough, as a documentary filmmaker I don't watch very many documentaries. But there are some standouts: Jiro Dreams of Sushi on Netflix for a look behind the scenes of the top-rated sushi chef in the world, who is 85 and still going strong. Although I haven't watched it yet, The Act of Killing on Netflix sounds intriguing and has been nominated for an Academy Award, is about two former Indonesian death squad leaders. If you're in NYC head to Smithsonian Museum of Natural History and see the Dark Universe planetarium show for a fun trip through the universe (and learn some things along the way). For a quick 3-min doc check out Reindeer Wrangling in the arctic. Finally, for some old-school goodness check out this very fun short doc Academy Award winner on glass blowing called Glas.
BEST FILM
Director: The Wolf of Wall Street - Martin Scorsese is the only director I trust to show me a three-hour twisted tale of debauchery.
Weatherman: Zero Dark Thirty - I really liked it, and we caught bin Laden in the end. Who doesn’t love a happy ending?
WORST FILM
Director: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - I wasn’t expecting much after Part 1, but Part 2 was even more painful to watch. The Hobbit is what happens when you take the couple of stupid things Peter Jackson did in Lord Of Rings and turn those into a 6hr+ trilogy. And even more frustrating are those moments of good moviemaking here and there that peek through all the bullshit.
Weatherman: There was a Titantic 3D?!?!?!?!?!
BEST ACTOR
Director: Daniel Day Lewis in Lincoln - DDL for win #4.
Weatherman: Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln - Say what you want about the movie -- the fact is I fell asleep about 90 minutes in but that might be because I’m getting old -- Daniel Day-Lewis plays a mean Abraham Lincoln. Also sort of a lifetime achievement award for me, cause I think he’s a boss.
WORST ACTOR
Director: Charlie Hunnam, Pacific Rim - He didn’t have much to work with, but he didn’t exactly give it his all either.
Weatherman: Danny McBride - I didn’t see anything he was in the last two years. Thank God.
BEST ACTRESS
Director: Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games / Silver Linings Playbook / X-Men: First Class - After watching 2010’s best film Winter’s Bone I knew she was destined for greatness (and yes I also have a thing for her).
Weatherman: Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games - Sooooo hot, want to touch the hiney. Shoots a mean bow-and-arrow.
WORST ACTRESS
Director: Michelle Rodriguez as Luz in Machete Kills - I know she’s been typecast as the badass Latina chick, but she’s not even very good at it. Sort of a lifetime achievement award for being terrible.
Weatherman: Queen Latifa as Georgia Byrd in Last Holiday - Might as well re-name this the Queen Latifa award. This isn’t a 2012 or 2013 movie, but I saw it this year while sitting in a jury duty waiting room in Baltimore City. It’s as interesting as it sounds. Jury duty, that is. As for the movie, it had a good plot (SPOILER ALERT): woman discovers she is sick and decides to spend her life-savings on the vacation she always wanted and chases her dream to become a famous chef. But Queen Latifa just never comes across believable to me in anything that she does. As long as she pumps out movies, she’ll be in the running in this category.
MOST OVERRATED
Director: The Avengers - Yes, it was a fun movie. No, it was not the best superhero movie ever.
Weatherman: The Hunger Games - Now that Ray Lewis is retired, guess we need to come up with a new name for this award. Listen, The Hunger Games was good movie, but all the hype around it really rubs me the wrong way. Maybe my dismay is rooted in jealousy for the author of the book, who’s made millions off of it. One day…
MOST UNDERRATED
Director: Dredd - An awesome film that nobody saw. It’s bloody violent, funny, just plain fun, and it’s got Karl Urban (Dr. McCoy in Star Trek, Eomer in Lord of the Rings) as the badass Judge Dredd. His mouth is the only thing you ever see in the film — that’s acting. Do you like one-liners? Do you like explosive violence? Do you like dispensing justice. . .with a gun? Then see this film immediately.
Weatherman: Trouble with the Curve - Clint Eastwood as an old, cranky baseball scout. What isn’t there to love?
BEST COMEDY
Director: The Pirates! - From the studio that brought us Wallace and Gromit. A goofy, fun, claymation adventure in the pirate world. A welcome respite from “adult” comedies.
Weatherman: Honestly, I don’t think I saw a comedy in theaters. What I Debbie Downer I am. No, but really I avoided The Hangover and Anchorman sequels. I recently watched "We're the Millers," on TV so I guess that will have to count here, although I fell asleep during it. Honorable mention to “The Best of Jimmy Fallon” on NBC that I watched the other weekend. I haven’t watched much of that show but he seemed pretty funny a bunch of times.
BEST ACTION
Director: The Raid: Redemption / The Expendables 2 - For great Kung-Fu action check out The Raid, about a police squad that gets trapped in a drug-lord’s apartment building. To see Arnold killing people while riding shotgun in a Smart car and Chuck Norris being Chuck Norris, see The Expendables 2.
Weatherman: Crooked Arrows - What’s this you say? It’s a lacrosse movie. It wasn’t really widely released nationally, but on a smaller amount of screens. But if you’ve never seen lacrosse, check it out. It’s about a group of Native American kids who play against a mostly white prep school team. Kind of like Mighty Ducks, but with lacrosse sticks.
BEST TV
Director: I’ve been watching Dexter each night and it’s dark and funny and fun all at the same time. Unfortunately, Psych is on its last season, fortunately all its seasons are on Netflix. It’s goofy and zany and I love good detective stories.
Weatherman: Now we get the heart of these awards. I’m much more of a TV guy now. I believe this is a golden age for the medium.
1) I got hooked on season three of Homeland and watched it in about two weeks. Any show that has you shaking or palms sweating is a good one. Can’t wait for season four.
2) The Newsroom: I’m a journo. Need I say more. Jeff Daniels as the lead? Count me in. From a journalism perspective, the storylines are pretty accurate. Some of the dialogue between the characters is not, but what do you expect from show creator Aaron Sorkin, he of The West Wing where the characters basically ran around a fictional White House dispensing encyclopediatic knowledge without Google.
3) Charlie Rose on PBS. Best interviewer in the game, hands down.
WORST TV
Director: All of the “reality” shows on once proud channels like Discovery and History.
Weatherman: The Kardashians on E! and any Real Housewives show on Bravo. My girlfriend loves them, and I want to cry.
AWARDS GRAB BAG
Director’s Biggest Surprise: Jack Reacher - I didn’t expect much going into this but it turned out to be a solid detective/action film. Reacher is an ex-MP who seeks justice and plays by his own rules. It’s got one of the best car chases I’ve seen in a while through a city (full disclosure: Pittsburgh) and it’s got Wernor Herzog (!) as the villain.
Weatherman’s Hottest Jaun: Julie Bowen in “Modern Family.” - I just have a thing for her. Did you know she was the girl in Happy Gilmore? I didn't realize it!
Director’s Biggest Disappointment: Iron Sky - This low budget German film about a lost Nazi Colony on the moon coming back to Earth for revenge looked like a fun nonsensical so-bad-it’s-good film in the vein of Machete or Black Dynamite. Unfortunately it was just plain bad.
Weatherman’s New Sports Channel to Check Out: Fox Sports 1, the new cable channel - They’re billing themselves as just pure entertainment, which sounds good by me for a sports channel. I don’t love everything on it, but some stuff is pretty good. For instance, Randy Moss had a weekly segment called “Straight Cash Homey” on Fox Football Daily.
Director’s Best Film to See in the Theater but Worst at Home: Pacific Rim - Loved it in the theater when the giant robots are towering over you and fighting monsters. At home, on the TV, without that sense of awe, a lot of the film’s flaws were revealed like the bad plot, script, etc.
Weatherman’s Show I Stopped Watching: “The League” on FX, or is it FXX? Maybe that was the problem.
Director’s Best Use of 3D: Gravity - This is a great survival flick and one of the best of the year - just a woman trying to stay alive... in space! One of the only films that I can say is a must-see in 3D.
Director’s Best Film You Probably Haven’t Seen: Killer Joe - William Friedkin, director of The Exorcist and The French Connection is making a comeback. A trailer park kid and his dad decide to hire a contract killer to off their mom/ex-wife and collect her life insurance. Since they can’t pay upfront, "Killer Joe" demands his ways with the kid’s innocent sister. This film is dark and violent and thrilling in all the right ways. And Matthew McConaughey is terrifying as Killer Joe. Glad to see him hide his abs and stretch his legs these last couple years in some interesting roles.
Director’s Recommended Documentaries: - Strangely enough, as a documentary filmmaker I don't watch very many documentaries. But there are some standouts: Jiro Dreams of Sushi on Netflix for a look behind the scenes of the top-rated sushi chef in the world, who is 85 and still going strong. Although I haven't watched it yet, The Act of Killing on Netflix sounds intriguing and has been nominated for an Academy Award, is about two former Indonesian death squad leaders. If you're in NYC head to Smithsonian Museum of Natural History and see the Dark Universe planetarium show for a fun trip through the universe (and learn some things along the way). For a quick 3-min doc check out Reindeer Wrangling in the arctic. Finally, for some old-school goodness check out this very fun short doc Academy Award winner on glass blowing called Glas.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Post up
Doubt someone actually sees this but whatever happened to Horsecut? Shame on you. Shame on you.
Coming soon: "Dueling Reviews: Best of 2012/2013".
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
SUP!??!?!
Sup guys?
Nobody has posted on here for a while, so I figure I might as well in case anybody still checks in. FIRST and foremost- years ago, per decided to change my xbox live email address to his own (ppa5@pitt.edu) for some reason, and now, for whatever reason, xbox wont let me get into my live account and per doesnt remember his password- oh, and his email address is no longer active- so i cant have xbox live under my current username now since it is unaccessable- fuck you per.
Second, Im down at Camp Lejeune, NC right now with the Marines. We are getting ready for a deployment sometime next year- will likely end up in the mediterranean or North Africa for about 6 months saving lives and killing terrorists.
Lastly, I'm trying to hit up a PSU game sometime in early-mid october, so if anyone is tryna, let me know. Hope all is well with everyone. Happy b-day Maddy, you remember that nasty kidney infection i gave you????
Love,
Skip
Nobody has posted on here for a while, so I figure I might as well in case anybody still checks in. FIRST and foremost- years ago, per decided to change my xbox live email address to his own (ppa5@pitt.edu) for some reason, and now, for whatever reason, xbox wont let me get into my live account and per doesnt remember his password- oh, and his email address is no longer active- so i cant have xbox live under my current username now since it is unaccessable- fuck you per.
Second, Im down at Camp Lejeune, NC right now with the Marines. We are getting ready for a deployment sometime next year- will likely end up in the mediterranean or North Africa for about 6 months saving lives and killing terrorists.
Lastly, I'm trying to hit up a PSU game sometime in early-mid october, so if anyone is tryna, let me know. Hope all is well with everyone. Happy b-day Maddy, you remember that nasty kidney infection i gave you????
Love,
Skip
Monday, March 4, 2013
A Sign
If anyone still checks horsecut, leave me a sign. Its been over a year since anyone has posted. Hope all is well with everyone and I hope to see everyone sometime in the near future. I am moving to NC in July, and will probably be deployed sometime later this year to go off and kill some terrorists.
Love,
Skip
Love,
Skip
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