Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner...

ATLANTIC CITY, DIRTY JERSEY -- my first trip to B-list celebrity paradise was quite a weekend. friday, Raven and i went to Wildwood past the humpback bridge to Alix's new beach house to pick up her and Pam. from there, we drove on up to AC. it was only about an hour ride to get to AC but another 30 min to get into AC, but we eventually weaved our way into the Trump Plaza Hotel parking garage, and then there we were - first stop Caesar's.

the first 30 min of my AC experience felt like walking into the Emerald City. we easily got lost in the neon lights, pulleys, and spinning wheels. Rav and i had never been to a casino before, so we were very dumbstruck by the size of the casino and the seemingly endless ways to lose your money. Dove, Raven's mom, gave us $20 to bet on 27 at the roulette table, so that was our first stop.


AC Lesson Learned #1: chips are distributed at the table.


AC Lesson Learned #2: be aware of minimum betting amounts at table games


Rav found a roulette table with an open seat and to his surprise, the minimum bet was $15, so he put all $20 on #27, Dove's favorite number, and at odds around 35:1, the wheel stops right before his number - $20 gone in the first 7 sec.


now, it was time for Rav and i to hit the blackjack tables while the girls went to the bar and the slots. again, unaware of table minimums, we wondered around Caesar's, expecting to find blackjack tables for $5...$10...even $1 bets. instead, all we found were $25 minimum tables. we both had brought $100 to gamble and turning that into 4 chances at the blackjack table didn't seem very enticing, so we decided to get the girls and check out a new casino.


in the entrance to Bally's Wild West Casino, we saw a sign that said "$10 table games all day, every day" and knew we were in the right place. Rav and i climbed to what felt like the 50th floor to where the sign had directed us. sure enough, an entire section of $10 table games...packed with lines of people anxiously waiting for an open seat. this was a real low in the day because i really starting thinking that i had to come to AC and wasn't going to get to play one hand of blackjack.


Rav and i both said "fuck it" and tried the slots.


AC Lesson Learned #3: Slots are a waste of time and money.


As we gazed over the neon lit slot room, we each had visions of cranking that handle, lining up 3 in a row, and being buried with gold coins - not the case. the slots all looked like video games. there are no coins - just cash and ticket vouchers - and everything is translated into credits again, like a video game, making it hard for you to tell when you actually win. you just win credits back, so it's just easier to just keep playing out your credits instead of trying to figure out how much your ticket voucher is actually worth in cash. the real scam is that the machines don't take anything smaller than a $5. so just playing 4 quarter bets and cashing out becomes a whole confusing ordeal almost forcing you to just keep playing the rest of your money. there are also no cranks. it's as simple as pushing a button, so that's what you do. you just push the button down - wait for the machine to tell you if you won - and keep pushing the spin button. Rav and i both lost $20 each after about 10 mins.


now, we've been there for a few hours, and it's about time to go home, so Rav and i say "fuck it" and decide to try out our luck at the $25 blackjack table - for the experience if nothing else. we find a table with one open seat, and Rav chooses to go first. he gives the dealer his $25 and gets one green chip. first hand is a push; second is a lose. i'm kind of scared now because he lost in 2 mins even with one of blackjack guides in his hand. my turn.


i sit down and give the dealer my twenty and 5 ones and get my green chip. the first hand i get jack, queen and win as the dealer busts. the second hand i get a jack, seven and win as the dealer busts. the third hand i get a king, ace - blackjack - and win. all of a sudden, it hits me: i just made $100. i play on and keep winning! the best part was the different people at the table. an older asian lady was sitting to my right. she had an accent but was no fool. every time i was up she would look me and simply say "hit" or "stay" and nothing else. further right, another asian lady also with an accent was playing. she was the screamer type. i loved it every time she would yell out "big card!" in broken english right before the dealer drew a card for herself. my favorite person was the black guy to my left. he was a smooth talker and straight up "Bundini" of blackjack because he kept saying "stick with me and we're going to turn $25 into a 1000 tonight." i really loved it because everyone at the table was rooting for each other, especially me because i won the first 8 hands i played. i was up $325 before i lost my first hand, but like Bundini told me "no one wins them all." at this unfortunate moment, they switched the dealer out from this sweet girl obviously happy to see me winning to the closer....fucking asshole Lang. i get up to $350 but start losing and finally stopped once i got to $250.

i guess it is true - the greater the risk, the greater the reward. i had turned one $25 green chip into a few black $100 chips. if i had gotten a seat at the $10 table and had one the same 8 hands in a row, I would have still had less than a $100.

AC Lesson Learned #4: Don't fear the minimum betting limits.

my first AC experience wasn't completely smooth sailing, but i've learned a lot about how it all works and definitely can't wait until the next time around.

-Tenn

P.S. Rav leaves for his 48 state trek in about a week, so send him your good thoughts...while you can.